Operating Systems as Ice Cream

April 20, 2010 in Humor,Tech. | Comments (3)

Apple:  We sell one flavor of ice cream- Vanilla.  It's the most amazing, beautiful, wonderful, delicious, astounding ice cream ever made.  We only use the highest-quality cream hand-milked from the top one percent of the world's dairy cows.  Our ice cream can only be served in one of four Apple-approved, solid gold bowls and can only be purchased from our regional freezer locations.  We don't sell any toppings, but do offer the iScream store where confectioners can sell their own toppings.  Each topping is carefully screened by an official Apple Topping Connoisseur to ensure they're of the highest quality.

Microsoft: Our current flavor offerings number between sixty and one hundred, however the actual number is proprietary and can't be divulged publicly.  Our ice cream can be served in almost any bowl, cup, plate, or thimble currently on the market as well as a wide variety of "legacy containers."  MS Chocolate can only be purchased as part of the MS Neapolitan Suite, while MS Strawberry is only licensed for home use and may not be used in any sort of parlor setting.  Volume and education discounts are available for those wishing to serve Microsoft Ice Cream (R) (TM) products, in non-home venues.  Customers wishing to use Microsoft ice cream in a cone must first be Genuine verified.

Open Source: Who doesn't like ice cream, right?  The new LacTose project allows you to have all the FREE (as in beer) ice cream you want.  The LacTose project is actually a culmination of the stagnant gMilk project and the new Kreem project.  LacTose is easily compiled, as long as certain dependencies are met- namely S@LT 2.5, j-ICE 1.6, and at least SUgAR 0.6b.  LacTose will compile on any ice cream machine hardware with supplemental drivers for a number of experimental projects, and if you don't have an ice cream maker of your own the CRANK project offers detailed instructions on how to build one yourself.